How to keep it together... an essay by a struggling mommy

Okay, that sounds worse than it is... It's just that I'm coming off of 3 days without my hubby. (he's home now, thank goodness) and I'm just tired.

It's also a great segway into these wonderful words of wisdom that I read today in my Parents magazine. It really made me stop and think....

"Memo to Mommy" lessons from our little ones:

• Stop freaking out about the mess! There's always time to clean--but how often do we get to make mud pies?
  

  Love me, even when I'm naughty. I'll only be this age once
  

  Be patient. I do everything for a reason, but I don't know enough words yet to give you an explanation
  

  Let me do it. I know you can do it better, but sometimes experience is the best teacher
  

  Don't expect too much of me. I want to do what you ask and make you happy, but I'm still little
  

  Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum. Trust me--I can't hear you over my own screaming
  

  Keep your promises. It's all about trust. When I'm a teenager, you'll understand why it's so important
  

  Don't keep asking me if I've been good. I'm not even sure what that means, but if I was bad I'd never admit it!
  

  Don't let me think that you're perfect. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes.

I can think of one great example for the "Let me do it" file. Delaney wanted to help me vaccum the kitchen floor with the wand. It was hard to stand back and watch her slowly do it but it was worth it all seeing the satisfaction on her face when she had completed the task. Mommy had to "finish", or so I thought, until I sucked up her polly pocket's doll shoe that she had missed on purpose. Serves me right...I had to dig through the dirt to retreive it for her from the emptied canister. Lord, help me to slow down and enjoy the small, wonderful things in my life... my kids especially.

Go Cubbies!

One of "The Girls" from Chicago came to visit me in Pittsburgh this week, Erin Leyden. We used to joke that we were the same person because we liked so many of the same things, did the same job (I took over her job when she got promoted), laughed at the same jokes. We just "get" each other. When we first met, I had just moved to Chicago from Pittsburgh and I was commenting on the abundance of squirrels in Chicago. She looked at me and asked "Do you have squirrels in Pittsburgh?" That broke the tension and we both burst into laughter. She's an awesome friend and one that I admire so much for her strength. A year and a half ago, her second son Emmett started having seizures at the age of 2 1/2. It was terrifying and he was having up to 200 a day. Erin was pregnant through all this will their daughter Clare. I can't even imagine what hell their life was for the year before they were finally able to find the right combination of drugs/therapy to control Emmett's seizures. Now here's where the strength comes in... she turned that negative into such positive, creating the AEOF (the American Epilepsy Outreach Foundation) to help other families get information and support when someone they love has been diagnosed with the condition. They are striving to change the face of epilepsy so that it's not such a stigma against the person. How selfless is that? She's awesome and I love her!

So she surprised me and booked a ticket to come to Pittsburgh when she new the Chicago Cubs were in town playing the Pirates. So I got us 4 tickets, invited Tiffany and Laurie to join us and the girls had a grand ole' time a the ball park. Noshing on some nachos and peanuts. Yum!

We had such great seats and there was never a stall in the conversation. It was the best night out with the girls (especially ones who didn't really know each other)

The next day wen went down to Station Square for lunch at Hard Rock, a ride on the incline, ice cream on Mt. Washington and then off to the airport for her to fly home.

Memory Lane is Open

This sounds like fun and I always love traveling down memory lane so go ahead and read on.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I (or you and Jonathan) had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Welcome to my World!

Jonathan finally got a "taste" of what it is like to take 2 young children to the grocery store during nap time.

We picked Jonathan up from work around lunchtime and we headed to Super Walmart in Robinson for lunch at Mickey D's and grocery shopping (McDonald's, although not my favorite choice always wins out because it requires me to only get the kids out of the car once... one stop shop!). So after a not-so-healthy lunch of Delaney's favorite "Chicken and fries" we headed into Walmart with baby Jonathan in the cart and Delaney roaming free next to us. It wasn't long before she became too tired to walk and then kept slipping out of her shoes. When asked to go and retrieve her shoes, we would get a tantrum. I could tell Jonathan's temper was wearing thin. He looked like he was going to blow a gasket any second.

And then Delaney blew! Full out tantrum in the dairy section. Screaming, whaling, stomping, you name it. I walked away. I let Daddy handle it.

We finally made it out of the store and to the safety of the car. My only comment... "Now do you see why I like to come shopping by myself" (I don't think that helped the mood)

Oh, no, he's definitely a boy!

My life will never be the same... Events have transpired today that make it evident that we can never go back to life as it was yesterday.

It all started innocently enough. Jonathan was working from home. He offered to put baby Jonathan up for a nap around 10 a.m. I gave my snuggly boy a kiss and hug and smiled thinking about the hour or so I would have to catch up on things around the house. 10 minutes later he was downstairs and walking around. I had to assume that my husband had rescued him from his room, but no, Jonathan was on a conference call. He looked as perplexed as I that Jonathan was downstairs walking around.

So guess what? That little stinker crawled out of his crib (first time), opened his bedroom door (first time) and walked down the stairs (not his first time, but still impressive). Ugh! How did this happen?

So, to make it a complete trifecta, he climbed up into his highchair by himself later in the day.

He amazes me so much every day... and makes me realize how much I still have to learn about little boys.

"I wipe it off!"

Delaney is having some real issues with bed time. Specifically, she just doesn't want to go to bed. At all. Every night is a ritual of tucking her "snug as a bug in a rug" only to find her "discretely" coming down the stairs, with her eyes covered, of course (so we can't see her) for one more "tiss and hug". Jonathan and I take turns every night re-escorting her up to bed. The first couple trips are gratis... the ones following carry a high consequence... a bum spanking. Even this has not deterred her. Last night when I was going to bed, I thought I'd look in on our little angel sleeping in her new full-size big-girl bed. I gingerly opened to door to find an empty bed. I was a little panicked as I had not heard the patter of little feet upstairs before this. Where could she be. Not in the bathroom, not in our room watching tv. I finally called out to her, my fear getting the best of me. She arose, groggily from underneath our fluffy comforter in the space between my and Jonathan's pillows on our bed and said "I sleep in your bed". She was escorted back to her bed but I had to hide a snicker. Tonight I went over to my sister's house and was not her to partake in the bedtime games. Jonathan informed me that she had to be spanked twice tonight for bed exitus and that she has a new "coping" mechanism. As soon as she is spanked (lightly) on the bum, she quickly licks her hand and spanks her bum. After the second spanking session, Jonathan had to ask.... "What are you doing?" Her answer... "I wipe off my spanking"
How can you argue with that?

Cinco de Mayo

I'm not sure what Cinco de Mayo is, a Mexican holiday of some-sort. But I am grateful to have a day set aside to have an excuse to partake in my favorite food genre. So I couldn't let the day go by without having a little Mexican feast Bernard-style. Now, before the cash budget system, I would have said, "heck with it...let's go out to eat!" But I have definitely tried to embrace this new budget so we brought Mexico to us. Nothing fancy, just hard and soft tacos with ground beef and refried beans. I didn't even have lettuce or tomatoes for toppings but we got by just fine.

The kids really ate it up though. (All that Mexican food I ate during pregnancy and nursing is finally paying off... the kids can stand the heat!)